Friday, November 28, 2008

~A Day After Thanksgiving Poem~

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know;
His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of..... Black November;
"Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three.
"And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
and you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin;
"And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head;
"Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald 'n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink;
"And then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing,
"She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing."
Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked;
I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;
I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;
And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;
I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap;
She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming..."

Thursday, November 27, 2008

~ Happy Thanksgiving ~

A wife invited some people to Thanksgiving dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter
 and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"

"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said.......
 "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

Have a blessed Thanksgiving!!!!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

~ Wordless Wednesday ~

Visitors expected.....
For more Wordless here!

Monday, November 17, 2008

On the lighter side.......

Things you DON'T want to hear at a tattoo parlour....

- "Eagle? I thought you said BEAGLE."

- "We're all out of red, so I used pink."

- "Anything else you want to say? You've got
plenty of room back here."

- "Mother" does have two T's in it, doesn't it?"

- "I bet you can't tell I've never done this before."

- "You know, hardly anyone gets blood poisoning
from these."

- "The flag's all done and, you know, the folds of fat
make a nice waving effect."

- "Ooooooops!"

Have a good week!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

~ Pumpkin house ~

Every Halloween, this house at
748 Beech Street in Kenova, West Virginia
 is transformed into the Great Pumpkin House. 

This guy, along with a gaggle of volunteers, carves over 3,000 pumpkins
 to display in and around his house every Halloween.

According to the website he has "carved over 25,000 pumpkins since 1978."
The pumpkins will be on display between October 28th - November 4th.